Empathy

We are facing the crisis of a generation. Some economists are calling it the worst contraction in recent years and for some of us, life has become a struggle.

Just in Singapore alone, the economy is facing an unprecedented contraction and unemployment rates are set to rise as the Covid-19 measures continue to take its toll. With that, the concept and practice of empathy is more important than ever.

What is empathy?

Empathy is a fuzzy concept. People who score high on assessments in the area often have little idea they do; they just know that they like people, and enjoy working and helping people succeed. They subconsciously value people as individuals.

Empathy is the ability to put oneself in the shoes of another. The positive psychology definition is this: The quality of feeling and understanding another person’s situation in the present moment — their perspectives, emotions, actions/reactions — and communicating this to the person. In short, it is about understanding what another is going through, and build a connection with the person.

Why is it important?

Without empathy, people tend to go about life without considering how others feel or what they may thinking. We all have different perspectives, and we all experience moods, pain and hurt, joy and sadness. Without taking a moment to assess what others are thinking or feeling, we become limited when we only see things from our perspective. When we do so, it becomes easy to make assumptions and jump into conclusions. This can often lead to conflicts, misunderstandings, bad feelings and poor morale.

In the corporate context, empathy is important because it allows people to feel like human beings. When people feel valued for who they are, they feel safe, they feel that they matter. When people feel safe and valued, they are free to be themselves and perform their work. In other words, employees are more productive when they feel valued.

What are the main challenges to empathy?

1. It requires us to pay attention. We are too often in our own heads, we are busy and we have our own “to do lists” to fulfill. As a result, we don’t pay attention to what others are thinking or feeling. To improve, we need to be more self-aware and aware of others. Next time, when you ask someone how they are doing, listen to their response. Do you believe them? Are they really ok? Ultimately, ask yourself if you care to learn more.
2. It takes time. In our fast paced world, everyone is constantly moving. Empathy requires that we stop and take the time to care.
3. Your ego gets in the way. When your mind is so busy with negative thoughts about you, then you will not have the space to really be present for another person. Take the time to listen to the other person, what is he/she really saying? Remember that the moment isn’t about you, but them. Give them the time.

Ultimately, empathy is a choice. It is about kindness, and it is about choosing to improve, to care, to get out of our own way, and to bridge the gaps between us — generations, cultures, religions, socioeconomic. Empathy allows us to be fully human and gives others permission to do the same.

In a time like this, we need it more than ever.